Stay
by quartzquadrant
Summary: im gay and i hatw myself (cover pic by skye, trainer-dawn on tumblr!)
Night after night, Ethan's dreams were plagued with the exact same situation. As if it was some kind of prediction of the future.

Silver was going to leave him someday. Ethan would become just another purposeless individual who waltzed their way into Silver's life and were destined to waltz right back out.

Maybe it was inevitable. Heck, screw maybe, the way Ethan's dreams were going each night, he was almost certain it was bound to happen. Despite Silver's constant spits of calling him a moron, idiot, all of the above, assuring him that Ethan was _different_ , he was never going to leave, nothing could stop Ethan from worrying about it almost daily.

"Ethan?" The sudden calling of his name startled him. "You're awake, aren't you?"

The same voice; the one of his dreams telling him he was useless, there was no need for him to stay around with someone quite so pathetic; and the one of reality, telling him everything was going to be okay in soft whispers.

"How do you always know that I've woken up? I'm barely moving."

"I guess… I can tell from how your breathing pattern changes."

As if the moment was perfect, he felt Silver's fingers gently brush through his hair, and the arm holding him increasing it's grip. His tight embrace was warm, it made Ethan feel safe and comfortable; nobody but Silver was ever able to make him feel that way.

"I'm… no good for this sort of thing," Silver muttered, continuing to caress Ethan's hair, "I've never known what it's like to reciprocate emotions, let alone show affection, but still… I want you to be okay."

"Oh? What was that?" Ethan smirked with that mischievous tone that Silver just _despised._

"Ugh! I said, don't go thinking this'll happen again. Because it won't, idiot."

"You've always gotta kill the moment with that attitude of yours."

"Oh, piss off! I'm doing this for you!" Silver spat, folding his arms and turning away rather abruptly in the process, "Besides, you're the one egging this on!"

"I know, I know," Ethan managed to breathe out in-between chuckles, "I really appreciate it, y'know. Thank you."

Silver made one of his traditional grunts before turning back to face Ethan slightly. "So what was it? Nightmares?"

"You could say that."

"Tell me," he said with a drastic tone to his voice, the look in his eyes becoming stern; ridden with a blend of general frustration and concern for Ethan's feelings.

"Silver, you _know_. It's the same as every other night. There's no use in explaining something I've already told you for the fifth time over."

"That dream again? Seriously, how many times have I told you? It's not gonna happen, moron," Silver scoffed rather harshly, turning his gaze away once again.

"I know that, Silv. I know, okay?" Ethan's voice became slightly rigid as he spoke, "But it doesn't matter how much you tell me. It's never gonna stop me from worrying. It's never gonna stop me from believing it's destined to happen. It's _never_ , going to stop me from believing I'm not good enough."

"Idiot."

Those were the only words Ethan heard before he felt a hand gently cup his cheek; he winced slightly at the sudden feeling, but quickly adjusted to it and stopped his body from tensing up.

"Do you know how much you sound like me? It _hurts_ , it pains me to hear you sound like me. Remember when I said exactly that? That even if I did my best, it doesn't necessarily mean that it was good enough? What did you tell me, Ethan?"

"I… I told you that no matter what, you're perfect in my eyes. And I swear, on everything I've got, that my statement will always be true."

"So, let's just say that feeling of yours goes for me, too," Silver mumbled, leaning in to give Ethan a slight soft kiss on the cheek before turning away once _again_ , refusing to make any form of eye contact again for the night.

"Now go to sleep. I don't want to hear about you having those dreams ever again. And… you can tell that voice in your mind telling you it's 'inevitable' or whatever, that I told it to piss off. Alright?"

Ethan couldn't help but smile foolishly at his words, before uttering a meaningful "Thanks."

Letting the smile on his face remain, Ethan welcomed Silver's arm around him once again, adjusted to his warmth and let it absorb him for the rest of the night. This is what he'd always wanted; and now he knew for sure, that it was never going to change.

"Hey, one last thing."

"Mmm?"

"I...I love you."

"That's rare. But it's so cute to hear you say that. Also kind of nice. Love you too, Silv."

"…Go to sleep."


End file.
